Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
