i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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