i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
