you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
