I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
high people should be assigned attendants
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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