a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm both gender and math confused
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