I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
