I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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