He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
