I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
