i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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