I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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