Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
