i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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