How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
