Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Enjoy the penises
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
