I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
