You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
did you just send me my own nude
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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