Redeem this text for a blowjob
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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