I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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