I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How external is "for external use only"?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
