i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
