Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
