i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
