Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
