The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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