she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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