some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
