Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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