she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
