White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
