??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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