he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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