Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How does it feel to date your dad?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
