And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
