just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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