Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I supernannyed him into submission
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
