i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
