She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize