the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
