from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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