I can't watch pbs sober anymore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We need to feng shui this bitch.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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