No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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