More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
