I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
