you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
