You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
