im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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