Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
