alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize