Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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