the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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