i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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