y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
