Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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