Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
