I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
