I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My bed smells like the plague
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
