my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
