also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
