Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
