New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
