8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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