She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
