Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize